Well, here it is... the beginning of the end of the "Neverending Story".
That's right...I'm about to embark on the final year of my MA.
Let me tell you....3 years is too long to spend on an MA. All you smartypants out there thinking that this might be a good idea.... 2 words: ONE. YEAR.
So, I've just downloaded loads of reading materials to get me started, and the stack of stuff on my desk is inspiring flat-out panic. My last course before the dissertation (yeah...in England they call the Masters thesis a dissertation...weird huh?) is called "Developing Researcher Competence", and as the name implies, it aims to turn you into a good researcher before you are let loose on your "Dissertation".
It would probably be a good idea to have an idea of what kind of topic I'd like to research. I don't.
It would probably be a good idea to have a consistent job which one could subject to some kind of scrutiny. I don't.
It would probably be a good idea to have a real blog where I discuss in academic terms the fascinating world of TESOL and Educational Technology. I don't.
I'm still limping along with my outdated Blogger blog, my on-again, off-again job, and my complete lack of insightful, meaningful research proposals.
Gonna have to step up my game real soon!
But first.... Limahl. ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhh....
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
A Taste of Freedom (and Sake!)
It's been a rough month! My new course is super intensive, high stakes, and the marking never stops! After 4 weeks of living like a hermit, chained to my desk, working 14 hour days (OMG!!!! 14 hour days!!!!), I finally have a whole weekend free!! You know that ad campaign right now that asks 'What does your freedom look like?'....well, so far mine looks like a 2 hour nap, 4 chapters of my book (a real, actual, fiction book, completely not related to my studies or my job!), a one hour walk around the park and surrounding neighbourhood, a stop at Menchie's Frozen Yogurt (1/2 marshmallow, 1/2 red velvet cake, topped with bits of sweet mochi!), and a couple hours on my beautiful balcony, enjoying the beautiful summer breeze, and sipping this beautiful Junmai Ginjo Sake! Described thus: "Medium dry, its clean and round layers of flavor offer hints of ripe melon, tropical spice, and fresh fallen rain", I would add: a little sweet; a little perfume-y, rich, and luxurious...the perfect complement to my new-found, and alas! short-lived freedom! KAMPAI!
Friday, March 15, 2013
How Much Compassion?
I've been recording daily events and thoughts from my classroom experiences at a new online journal at http://www.penzu.com, and it's different from my blog in that it's just for me....more personal... more painful. I try to be honest about my own experiences and yes...failures. Today's entry was particularly hard to write because I hate my own thoughts on this issue. I don't even know if I want to write it here.
But inspired by Tyson at 4C: http://fourc.ca/cool/#comment-36604 as he posts some cool and uncool happenings from his own class, and then reflects that he didn't feel very compassionate, I realized that this was the problem in my own class, and I am worried that my compassion is running out!
Here's the story:
I have a new student who has some obvious hm.... "issues". I don't know what they are. I'm not a doctor. There are physical signals that he has some kind of medical history. And there are behavioural signals that he has had social and developmental issues. Forgive me for not even knowing what language to use to describe this fellow. I've never had a student like him. I have no idea what I'm dealing with.
I do believe that all students have a right to learn, and that all students CAN learn SOMETHING, and that all students deserve kindness and compassion and multiple chances to 'get it right'.
Seeing immediately that this student is facing an uphill battle, I've been trying extra hard to go slowly, explain carefully, repeat things over and over again, write everything down, give demonstrations, ask concept check questions, have other students demonstrate, giving unlimited chances to submit work, forgiving late assignments, explaining things after class, accepting 'notes' from siblings, providing multiple sources of input for the same info, encouraging and acknowledging online contributions, and every other thing that I can pull up out of my teachers' bag of tricks that might help the student to succeed.
I sought advice from my director. I admitted that I have no knowledge or training to deal with such a student, and that aside from 'kindness' I don't know what else I can offer him. I won't repeat her response here.
Today, I found my patience wearing thin.
All of the little quirks that I've been 'letting go' have finally gotten to me. Today when I asked the students to find their weekly spelling package in preparation for the weekly spelling test, the student asked me, with a completely bewildered look on his face, and arms extended in a helpless gesture "Teacher! Where is my spelling package?". My snappy response, "Are you asking ME? It's YOUR book! I don't know where YOU put YOUR spelling package!" immediately made me feel cruel and fairly disgusted with myself...and then I felt even worse when the student beside this fellow kindly reached over and started flipping through his binder, trying to find it for him.
OK, I don't want to sit here and beat myself up over this. I'm simply at a loss, and with no support, I guess it was inevitable that I would eventually snap. But as I stood there watching while the spelling package was retrieved from the lower depths, I couldn't help but wonder in the back of my mind: As a teacher with a job to do, and a whole class of students to manage, are there limits to how much compassion and understanding we can extend to an individual? I know right now that this student isn't going to pass this course. At what point do we say "I don't think you have the aptitude for this"? Or "Maybe this isn't the course for you"? Or "I'm sorry, I simply can't help you anymore"?
Ugly thoughts. And a central conflict here. As a human being, I believe that it's my duty to help a person with every fibre of my being, until the very end. That's how I was raised...can't get it out of my system. But as a teacher in a high-demand course, I realize that no amount of my help is going to be enough, and so I will have to let it go. I can't work a miracle in 8 weeks, and so ultimately, I think kindness will be the ONLY thing I can offer this student. If I cannot do anything to get him through this class, compassion is all I have left.
But inspired by Tyson at 4C: http://fourc.ca/cool/#comment-36604 as he posts some cool and uncool happenings from his own class, and then reflects that he didn't feel very compassionate, I realized that this was the problem in my own class, and I am worried that my compassion is running out!
Here's the story:
I have a new student who has some obvious hm.... "issues". I don't know what they are. I'm not a doctor. There are physical signals that he has some kind of medical history. And there are behavioural signals that he has had social and developmental issues. Forgive me for not even knowing what language to use to describe this fellow. I've never had a student like him. I have no idea what I'm dealing with.
I do believe that all students have a right to learn, and that all students CAN learn SOMETHING, and that all students deserve kindness and compassion and multiple chances to 'get it right'.
I sought advice from my director. I admitted that I have no knowledge or training to deal with such a student, and that aside from 'kindness' I don't know what else I can offer him. I won't repeat her response here.
Today, I found my patience wearing thin.
All of the little quirks that I've been 'letting go' have finally gotten to me. Today when I asked the students to find their weekly spelling package in preparation for the weekly spelling test, the student asked me, with a completely bewildered look on his face, and arms extended in a helpless gesture "Teacher! Where is my spelling package?". My snappy response, "Are you asking ME? It's YOUR book! I don't know where YOU put YOUR spelling package!" immediately made me feel cruel and fairly disgusted with myself...and then I felt even worse when the student beside this fellow kindly reached over and started flipping through his binder, trying to find it for him.
OK, I don't want to sit here and beat myself up over this. I'm simply at a loss, and with no support, I guess it was inevitable that I would eventually snap. But as I stood there watching while the spelling package was retrieved from the lower depths, I couldn't help but wonder in the back of my mind: As a teacher with a job to do, and a whole class of students to manage, are there limits to how much compassion and understanding we can extend to an individual? I know right now that this student isn't going to pass this course. At what point do we say "I don't think you have the aptitude for this"? Or "Maybe this isn't the course for you"? Or "I'm sorry, I simply can't help you anymore"?
Ugly thoughts. And a central conflict here. As a human being, I believe that it's my duty to help a person with every fibre of my being, until the very end. That's how I was raised...can't get it out of my system. But as a teacher in a high-demand course, I realize that no amount of my help is going to be enough, and so I will have to let it go. I can't work a miracle in 8 weeks, and so ultimately, I think kindness will be the ONLY thing I can offer this student. If I cannot do anything to get him through this class, compassion is all I have left.
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